Life Without You
by willa66
Summary: When the two people closest to Rose betray her she has to move on. She finds life without them is hard, but when someone re-enters her life they make things better. Can Rose be happy and forgive and forget or will she forever hate those who wronged her.
1. Leaving You Is Harder Than It Looks

"What would you like for dinner?" I asked Dimitri.

"I don't mind you pick." I nodded "But you shouldn't be on your feet remember. Doctors orders."

"Dimitri I've been off my feet for 2 weeks now. I don't think being on them for an hour or two will make a difference." I said with a small laugh.

"It's your funeral."

His phone beeped and usually he would leave it for 5 or 10 minutes, but today he picked it up swiftly and read the text. A smile came across his face, but it quickly went away when he realised I was in the room.

"I'm going out. Christian needs me for and hour or so" he said and he grabbed his coat "I'll be back soon. Bye"

"Love you" I said, but he didn't reply instead he slammed the door. I looked out the window just in time to see him turn right. I turned the oven on and began to cook some food or myself.

Lately I had been seeing a change in him. He no longer said I love you or showed affection towards me. He was reminding me of someone. He was reminding me of me. When I had cheated on Adrian I had acted the same way to him. It was like a cold shoulder treatment, but it was never ending. Instead of having good and bad days it was just bad. We hadn't had sex in a while-two weeks to be precise. Every time I showed interest in that he would turn me away or use a silly excuse. And he hadn't said I loved you in days.

When I left Adrian I had thought I was leaving him for a better man. One who would sweep me of my feet like they do in the movies. Instead it was completely different. I thought for a week or so that it might be the guilt from being a strigoi, but he had promised he had let that go.

I could always tell when he was lying. He made a dimple in his face without realising it. If my memory was serving me correctly I had seen a dimple.

I didn't know where he was going, but I did know I could find out. I grabbed my phone from my purse and called a person I didn't want to speak to since I put his aunt in jail. Christian.

It rang 3 times before he answered.

"Hello"

"Hi Christian it's Rose."

"Rose, why are you calling me?"

"Um Dimitri just left and he said that you had said he needed to see you I was just wondering if that was true."

"Rose I think you should be asking someone else."

"Christian I know I put your aunt in jail, but she was the one who committed the crime. I didn't do anything wrong and you can't blame me for that, but I need you to be a good person and tell me the truth."

"No I did not call Dimitri. I'm currently trying to get dinner ready for Lissa, who is incredibly late."

"Thank you, Christian."

"Your welcome." He put the phone down and a small tear escaped my eye.

I grabbed my coat and ran out the door and turned right. I followed the road down until I realised I was heading in the direction of Lissa's. I decided to call Dimitri phone to see if I could hear it.

I began walking hoping I could hear it when I heard it come from behind some bushes. I pushed past some twigs and trees until I was around the edge of a small garden. I saw two people in the middle of the garden.

Lissa and Dimitri. They were to close. He looked into her eyes like she was the best thing on earth. He used to look at me like that. They were in a tight embrace when suddenly he pulled her closer to him and she kissed him. Neither pulled apart and both were kissing full of love and passion.

I couldn't believe it. My eyes must be wrong. My boyfriend can't be cheating on me- with my best friend. I felt the tears coming on, but I kept my composure and took out my phone. I took a picture of them one from my view and one zoomed up to see exactly who it was and what they were doing.

I left silently and began running home. I smashed into Adrian.

"Hey" he screamed "watch where you going" he said looking to try and find out who it was. When he saw who it was he saw I had been crying. "Rose, what's wrong?"

"Nothing" I said running off before he could say anything else.

I opened the door to my house with the spare key under the matt. I turned the oven off and ran upstairs I was chocking on my tears while shoving lots of my cloths into a bag.

I phoned the only person I felt I could trust. My mum.

"Mum." I said through my tears.

"What's wrong sweetie?"

"I need you to come get me. I'm leaving Dimitri and I don't know what to do."

"I'll be there in 5 minutes."

I closed my phone and waited for her arrival. When she arrived she told me that she would get the rest of my stuff from upstairs.

I waited in the kitchen until suddenly the front door opened.

"Hey" Dimitri said. "When's dinner going to be ready?" he asked sitting down on the dinning room table waiting for me to reply."

I heard my mum come down the stairs with all my stuff. She left to go put it in the boot of her car.

"Who's that?"

"My mum." I replied

"Ahh what's she doing here?"

She emerged in the doorway. "The cars packed are you ready to go" she said to me, but she was eviling Dimitri.

"Go wait in the car"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'll be done in a minute"

"Rose. What's going on?" he said standing up.

"Dimitri, I'm leaving you."

"What. Why?"

"I know about you and Lissa." His face told me the truth. "You really thought that you could fool me. I've been the cheater. I know exactly how they behave towards there other partner."

"Rose, you must be joking. I would never do that." There in the corner of his mouth a dimple appeared.

I reached out and touched it. "I know your lying, cause when you do a dimple appears" and there it is I said tracing where it was. He pulled me in for a hug. I smelled him. A light hint of Katy Perry's perfume- Lissa's favourite. I pushed him away.

"I can smell her on you."

"Babe you need to understand that it was a mistake. She came onto me."

I scoffed. "Was this a mistake?" I said showing him the photo of him and Lissa in the park."

"It's not how it looks. You can't leave me Rose. I love you."

"I can leave you and that's what I'm doing. And you finally say I love you. I haven't heard that in days."

I grabbed my purse and coat. "Wasn't I enough for you? Of all people you cheat on me with it had to be her." I kissed his cheek. "I love you so very very much" another tear spilled from my eye. "It's over"

I turned away from him and using all the strength I had I walked away from him. When I got in the car my mum knew not to say anything. She turned the keys in the ignition and waited to see if I would change my mind.

"Go" I said. Another tear spilled from my eye. I looked in the mirror and saw him watching me leave.

I knew that if I turned around a saw his face that I would never leave. I couldn't do that. I needed to go. He couldn't get away with it.

My mum pulled out of the drive and turned right. I saw him in the mirror and another tear came from my eye. I held my head up high. I had nothing to be ashamed of, but when we drove past the park I burst into tears.

Passing it made me realise I had made the right decision in leaving, but part of me wish I stayed. My mum continued driving and finally we arrived at her house. Standing in the driveway was Abe.

My mum took the keys out of the ignition and unlocked the doors.

"Rose, you need to get out the car."

"I can't" I had used all the strength to leave him and I couldn't get out the car. My legs refused to move.

"I will be right back sweetie." I nodded as she went and talk to Abe. She came back and went to the boot and began unloading my things. Abe opened my door and began pulling me out the car. He held me in his arms and began walking me to the house. I buried my face is his shoulder and he took me into the lounge.

He sat me on a chair that faced the window looking onto the driveway.

And as I sat here I knew I wouldn't be leaving this chair for a while.


	2. My Life For Now

It's been 12 hours, 35 minutes and 55 seconds since I left Dimitri.

His face still burned in the back of my mind. He and Lissa were probably living a happy life.

I hadn't eaten since then. My mum had made a few attempts at getting me to eat, those failed. And a few attempts at getting me to move, those also failed.

I saw Abe walk up the driveway. A coffee in one hand and the news paper in the other.

When he came in my mother directed him to the kitchen. They spoke silently and I heard the movement of the pages of the newspaper.

"She can't read this it will break her heart. She hasn't left that chair and reading this will make sure she never does."

"Mum" I called. I hadn't spoken to her since the phone call. "Let me see it"

I heard her footsteps and she kneeled beside me. "You don't need to read that, Rosie."

I was looking straight ahead to the driveway. "I need to see it."

"Okay" she nodded and went to go get it.

She placed it in front of me and left to go talk to Abe.

My hands trembled as I unfolded it and turned it over to the front page. And in big letters there it was.

"It's over" there was a picture of me and Dimitri with a giant cut between us.

The article said that the relationship had been over since it began and we had split because of differences. There was nothing about him cheating on me.

I looked closer at the picture. I studied his features until I remember he was the one who broke my heart.

I felt angry, betrayed and hurt by Dimitri and Lissa. I ripped the paper up until the article and his face were in tiny pieces.

It wasn't enough. I threw my mums table over and I took her mirror of the wall and was just about to smash it when my parents came in.

My mum took it from my hands and placed it down. My dad hugged me tightly and I tried to push away, but he held me tight.

My mum joined him and they both held me by now I was crying hysterically. I collapsed into there arms. I sobbed until the tears stopped.

My dad put me back in the chair and put a blanket over me. They left me all day, made a few phone calls and I fell asleep.

I was woken by a knock at the door. I heard my mother open the door.

"Rose, Lissa's here to see you."

She came at sat beside me.

"Oh Rose I read the article I'm so sorry, but I'm here for you now."

"Your here for me?"

"Yes of course you're my best friend."

"If I was your best friend you wouldn't have been cheating on your boyfriend with my boyfriend."

"You know?"

"I saw you last night."

"Look we can sort this out. You and me."

"If me and Dimitri can't sort it I'm sure me and you can't. I thought you and Christian were happy."

"We aren't he closed himself away from me. Dimitri was the only one who could help."

"And that makes it okay, I would have supported you, but no you had to go and betray me. And Christian."

"He doesn't have to know."

"Yes he does. Last night he was making dinner for you, but where were you. With Dimitri. So don't tell me you and Christian aren't happy."

"I guess I blame him for you being arrested."

"Lissa, it was his aunt. I never held that against him."

"But I do."

"How far did it go?"

"Kissing."

"That's it"

"No, I had sex with him."

I let out a laugh "Everything I've had you had to have. Growing up I wanted to do so many things, but I have them up to be your guardian."

"Rose, what have you given up?"

"Two years of my life at school."

"Look we came back and achieved wonderful things, I'm queen and your my guardian. What more could you want."

"Lissa I quit. Now get out."

"What. You can't quit."

"Lissa you slept with my boyfriend. I'm aloud to quit. Get out"

She took a steep closer. "GET OUT I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS. GO!"

"What's wrong." Said my dad. He came in the room and looked at me.

"Nothing. Mr Mazur."

"She's the reason I left Dimitri. He was cheating on me. With her."

"Get out or you will regret it. Queen or no queen no one hurts my daughter." Said my dad.

"Leave before I do something I will regret" said my mum.

"I'm so sorry. Rose please."

"Go." I said without looking at her.

She left and I watched her leave the driveway. She entered a car where her guards were.

"I didn't know what shed done." Said my mum "That's why I called her."

"It's okay. You know now."

They left me to myself again and I fell asleep again.

I was woken by my mum putting some food on my lap.

"Eat" she said.

The food looking delicious. It was a burger with chips, but I didn't want it. I shook my head.

"Here" she said putting a chip to my mouth. I ate the chip. She had to feed me my entire dinner and help me drink my drink.

When she left I drifted of into another sleep. I didn't want to wake up.

For the next two weeks this was my life. Wake up have food. Sleep. Be woken up for someone food. Sleep.

For now I didn't want to leave, but eventually I would need to get out. I needed help, but who could I turn to.


	3. The Long Walk Ahead

It's now been two weeks 4 hours 5 minutes and 15 minutes since I left Dimitri.

My mum had tried her best to get me out the house, but eventually she had given up. The only reason I got up now was to go to the toilet. I hadn't showered or eaten. Even though my mother had been feeding me she now had other things to do. My dad visited every few days, but everyone else had moved on except me. I was still torn from the break-up.

I was just about to go back to sleep when suddenly a knock at the door jolted me awake. Mum was out and my dad was to. That meant I had to get the door. When I opened it who it was shocked me.

Adrian. We stood like this for a minute until finally he spoke.

"Your mum called and said you needed help."

"Well I don't so. Goodbye."

He shoved his foot in the door and pushed it open. I walk into the dining room and sat on the chair.

Adrian kneeled in front of me. "You need to eat something and shower."

"I can't. I don't want to do anything. Just hid away and be left alone."

"When you left me I felt the same way, but eventually I moved on."

"How do I move on from this?"

"You need someone to be there for you. To help you night and day."

"But who will do that?"

He thought about. "I will" he smiled.

"No. I hurt you. I can't imagine asking you for a favour."

"You need someone to relate to you. I can do that. Please let me help you."

"Okay. I can't go on like this" a small tear spilled "I want- I need to move on."

"First things first. You need to shower and eat. There's something I need to show you."

He ushered me to the bathroom and passed me a towel.

He placed me in front of the mirror.

"Look at yourself" I avoided looking at my face. "Look"

I looked up at my face to see the brownish rings around my eyes. My skin had gone pail and I looked skinny and bony. I looked terrible.

"Now go shower."

It felt nice the warmth of the water got rid of the smell of Lissa and Dimitri.

When I came out with a towel wrapped around me Adrian was sat on the toilet.

"I promise you, I didn't see anything."

"I believe you." He passed me a pile of cloths.

"Get changed" he said "were going out."

In the pile were black skinny jeans, with a blue shirt. I put them on and went into the lounge.

He looked at me in approval. "Put these on" he passed over some black pumps. "Now we can go out."

When we got to the door I was reluctant to leave, but I did.

He took me to the long walk- which was long. 2.5 miles of just me, Adrian and talking.

I told him everything. It took a while, but I opened up to him. And once I started talking I couldn't stop. There were moments that felt like I was rambling, but Adrian assured me I wasn't. The last time we'd spoken he had turned me away when I began talking about Dimitri, but now he listened to me. I felt like I could tell him anything.

"There's one thing every person going through a break-up must do."

"What's that?" I asked.

"You make The List."

"What's that?" I repeated.

"It's a list of things to do before you've moved on. It contains stuff like a new house or a new job. It basically lists the things you want to do now that you're single. Anything can be in it."

"Do you have one?"

He tapped his noise. "That's for me to know and for you to never find out."

"Will I ever smile again?"

"When you broke up with me I didn't smile for 2 maybe 3 weeks. I smiled because I heard about you're break-up."

"That's understandable."

"I thought you'd beat me up over it."

"I'm not in the mood to beat people up. Will I ever be in the mood to beat someone up?"

"Yes. Eventually."

"Truth is Adrian, I deserved this. I deserved to have my heart broken and trampled on. I deserved to be cheated on by two people I trusted. It's called karma and it came for me quite quick. You want to know why I deserve this."

"Why?" he asked already knowing the answer, but wanting to hear it from me.

"Because I did it to you."

"I hate to say it, but maybe you didn't deserve this. Even though you broke my heart you broke it to be with someone you loved. I would have ever wished the pain of someone cheating on you on anyone. Even you."

"Were you like this? Unhappy for weeks. You seem happy now, are you happy?"

"I wasn't this bad. I drank for a few days then I got my head out of the ground and moved on. It may take girls longer than guys, but it happens. Eventually."

"I've heard that word so much. Eventually this. Eventually that."

We had already walked the two miles there and had just finished the two miles back.

"That was a long walk" I said.

"So" Adrian said with a small grin "Do you want to make that list."

"The break up one" he nodded. "Yeah. I think I need to."

Suddenly the sounds of a camera clicking made me jump.

I turned around to see a journalist. They were hoping for some kind of reaction from us, but Adrian just simply asked me "Do you want to come to mine; it's around the corner from here?" I nodded.

We didn't manage to lose the journalist, but luckily Adrian lived in an apartment on the top floor.

His apartment wasn't the bachelor pad I was expected, it was a calm and normal apartment for a 21 year old.

He sat us down on the sofa and got a pen and paper and passed it to me.

I passed it back to him. "I don't know what to put." I said.

"Okay." He took them back and began asking me what I wanted.

"New job."

I nodded.

"New car."

I nodded.

"New House."

I nodded.

"Aliens to abduct you in the night."

I nodded. "Wait. What?"

"Rose, it's your list. So you need to write it."

"I don't know what I want." I screamed.

"Just think about it."

"Okay. I want Dimitri to apologise. I want Lissa to come begging for me to be her friend again. I want Dimitri to come get me and tell me it was all a dream, but that's not going to happen. So why should I write it."

"Rose you don't want that. Believe me. I don't want you to apologise. I don't want Dimitri to apologise either. I don't want anyone to tell me it was a dream, because I taught me that I can't have every woman I want. And I can't treat them like dirt anymore."

"And what did it teach me. That I can't cheat on my boyfriends because they will cheat on me."

"No it taught you that even the ones you love can hurt you."

He came over and hugged me. I sobbed loudly into his shoulder. I collapsed into his arms, he held me tightly to avoid me falling on the floor.

"So" he said after I stopped crying. "Shall we do this list or not."

I don't know why, but I smiled. And then laughed.

We both laughed for no reason at all.

_**Can i ask for some more reviews please. Thanks love Amelia**_


	4. Forgiveness Doesn't Come Easy

_**I'm so sorry for not updating for ages. I just got back from the trip of a lifetime to Paris. I will try to update one more time before Christmas and again before the New Year**_.

"Okay," said Adrian "One very full list."

"Shall we go over it again, just in case I missed something?"

"I don't think you did, but okay."

"1. Keep a feelings journal.

2. Get a pet

3. Buy a new house

4. Change my hair.

5. Be a little more open to alcohol than usual.

6. Own a mini bar

7. New phone number

8. Get a new job

9. Go to night school"

"I think we've got it," he said "And you have to complete this."

"Have you got a list? And please answer me this time."

"Yes I do. I made one about 4 days after you left me. I was drunk when I wrote it, but most of it was true."

"I'm not going to ask to see it, so don't worry."

"Okay. It's a good idea to have an even number for your list."

"Umm. I can't think of anything to put in. I have everything."

"I've got it."

"What?"

"Fall in love."

I awkward silence hit the room. The thought of moving on was frightening, but it needed to be done.

"I hate knowing that Lissa is still with Christian, they are still happy, while I'm sat here hung up on Dimitri. Christian has a right to know, but I'm not going to tell him. I couldn't hurt him like that. I paused to catch my breath "It's hard to admit this, but I don't hate Lissa. I envy her. She was able to make my boyfriend happy where I couldn't. She was able to make it work. I couldn't do that."

"She's your best friend and you will always love her. I know what emotion it is your feeling. I felt it when you left me. It's jealously"

"Jealously?"

"Yep. You're jealous"

"How could I be jealous of a home wrecker?"

"Because you were one. You did this to me. And he did too."

"The only reason I could ever be jealous of her is because she was with my boyfriend."

"Ex-boyfriend" he pointed out.

"Shut up. I don't need to be reminded of it."

"I think you do. Has it not sunk in yet? He doesn't want you. He's got Lissa and she seems to keep him very happy, something you clearly couldn't do."

My hand when straight to his face and I slapped him. He raised his hand, but stopped before he hit my face. He took a step back and realised what he'd done.

"Sorry. The spirit always makes me cranky."

"Its okay, but everything you said was true. I need to move on."

"We've been over this. I know you want to move on. There are 12 steps in AA. The first is-."

"Wait wait wait. You go to AA."

"Yep. Well I did, but the centre was right beside a bar. It didn't end well. So the first step is you need to admit you're powerless. Basically you are unmanageable to love Dimitri."

"Okay. I am powerless to love Dimitri. Nothing I ever do could change that."

"Nothing?"

I nodded. "Well falling in love with someone else could, but a part of me will always love him. He was my fist love."

"Okay, that's good."

"The second step?"

"You need to believe that a power greater than yourself can restore you to sanity."

"Can it? I thought I was sane, but I guess wanting to be with my ex boyfriend who screwed my best friend is pretty insane."

"Yeah that's pretty fucked up."

I nodded and then laughed.

"Hey you're laughing."

"Yeah" I said with a smile.

"And smiling." He gave me a smile I used to love. "Count yourself lucky. You're not as insane as me."

"What. How are you insane?"

"I still want to be with the girl who cheated on me for her ex-stigori boyfriend."

"You want to be with me?"

"Yeah."

"Adrian," he cut me off with a kiss. He crushed my lips with his. He pulled away.

"I can't…."

"I know" I said. I moved my lips back onto his. He took my cardigan off- while still kissing me. I got a sudden case of déjà vu. This had happened before- with Dimitri.

This happened in the cabin. When I lost my virginity to him, but I still continued to kiss him.

"Stop!" he said. He pushed me away. "I can't do this. I can't forgive you for what you did. I thought I could, but clearly I can't"

I grabbed my cardigan and shoes. And headed for the door. I unlocked before turning to say "I am so very very sorry for hurting you. " He didn't try to stop me or run after me.

I slammed it behind me. I hadn't even put my shoes on. But as I walked home I felt as if I had made a mistake in leaving, but I continued on all the way home.

_**Anyways Merry Christmas to my readers and have a happy new year. Love Amelia**_


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